Obsessions and Confessions

for months i've been writing this in my head.  adding to it, editing it until it was just right.  knowing that when the time came, my brain would be mush and anything i wanted to say would get washed away in a wave of emotion.  well the time, unfortunately, is finally here and the months of mentally preparing for it did nothing because the words won't flow, only the tears.  but i don't want to procrastinate anymore so here it goes...mushy brain and all...

on friday of memorial day weekend we laid my grandfather to rest.  while we know he is in good company with the angels in heaven and the other dedicated soldiers in rhode island veteran's cemetery, our hearts are bursting with love and sadness.  my nana's devout partner and lifelong love is no longer around to provide comfort through a simple whistle, a sarcastic remark or an andes' candy.  the man who built my family is gone.  yes my wonderful parents raised me to be who i am today, but i know that so much would've been different were it not for the lessons papa instilled in them, and me, along the way.

papa, me (with a delicious looking dorito) & nana at my 3rd birthday party.

he was a tough man, especially on the newcomers to the family.  but no matter how wearing his teasing could be, we all knew that if you could take the chiding it meant that you were in.  part of the club that is the pellegrino clan.  and let's be real, we don't want any members that are going to fold under that kind of sarcasm because each and every one of us dishes it out on a daily basis...suitors be warned :).

i learned from a very early age that i make a better door than a window.  and that unlike some households where they follow a particular sports team, football was an entire weekend event for papa.  so grab a coloring book and sit nearby and he'll entertain you with sports facts and other conversation...just don't plop down right in front of the telly or you're definitely not going to earn that yoo-hoo from the little fridge.

while nana will always be his true love.  he did have some pretty serious girlfriends...

from top left - papa & kara as a baby; dancing with my cousin hayley; hayley, papa & kara at thanksgiving

while he had many houses along the way, many that we all still consider home...the cliff house and houses in jackson, nh...it was in this house where some of the greatest lessons were taught:

St. Thomas More Church, Narragansett, RI (image)

lessons like: always kneel up, no rears on the pews - that's just for lazy folk.  dress appropriately...wouldn't want to hear the "you're wear dungarees?!"being grumbled over the entrance prayer.  always give back...even if it means dropping coins in the glass poor box after communion while everyone else is silent.  it's okay to tell a kid to cut his rat-tail if it's in church...because chances are Jesus thinks it's nasty too.  mint lifesavers are also 'okay' in church...but only one and only if papa sneaks it to you in a way that makes you feel like you're the coolest person on earth for getting this special treat. be on time for church or you will be subject to a look of disapproval.  being on time is a big one and i think that i've carried that throughout my daily life...it also meant that you could park closest to the church and leave exactly as mass was ending to then get to Dad's Place for breakfast before the crowd (food is a very good motivator).  Speaking of breakfast...'2 eggs over lite, italian toast, no hash browns and more coffee...Barbara...order'....hope to heck that waitress was ready with a pen and paper because it wasn't getting repeated.  But all joking aside, Papa instilled the fear of God in us all...in a good way.  Growing up there wasn't a sunday early morning mass we missed because it meant a chance to not only get in His good graces but it was time we spent with family.

I am so very blessed to be a part of the family that Papa built.  I am so fortunate to have had the time I did with him and to have grown up in his care.  There are so many things that I will miss about him, I'm sure I could write something every week as more and more memories come to mind.  But for now I will end with saying thank you for keeping the little girl in my alive, for always supporting me and the rest of the family, for never letting us slack because you knew what we were capable of and for loving us, always.

xoxo, yawdi amana